#so i've probably got like. 5 hours max to do it
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man i just remembered there was something i REALLY wanted to draw a few days ago... but the question is can i do it. will i just leave it as a colored sketch or can i actually try to line it
edit: i changed my mind i am way too tired, this idea will remain in limbo until i feel up to it 👍
#little pigy was very easy bc the canvas was so small#the sketch WAS the lineart#aaaaaaaugh idk if i can do that... i dont know if i have it in me#i dont wanna spend more than today on it so that's my time limit#and i am *very tired*#so i've probably got like. 5 hours max to do it#do you think i can line a piece in that amount of time im voting no. so it might just be a sketch#you might think 5 hours is a lot. and i know plenty of people who can crank out entire paintings in that time#but you underestimate how long it takes me to draw. i've spent WEEKS on some of the stuff i've posted#and i dont even shade. or do much of anything complicated tbh 😭#chat
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ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕀𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕧𝕚𝕖𝕨: 𝕍𝕚𝕔𝕖𝕣𝕠𝕪
Tagged by @dreamskug and subsequently ripped off inspired by his, @lokiina’s, @nightcityace’s & @arcandoria’s creative take on it.
V: Hey, sorry I’m- Interviewer: Late? V: Only by thirty minutes, can't be that big of a deal. Interviewer: Maybe it is-
V: Okay, well, I'm here now, on a Friday night, instead of drinking myself stupid like I wish I was. Go ahead and ask your questions.
ɴɪᴄᴋɴᴀᴍᴇ:
V: V. Interviewer: That’s it? V: Yup.
ɢᴇɴᴅᴇʀ:
V: Male.
ꜱᴛᴀʀ ꜱɪɢɴ:
ʜᴇɪɢʜᴛ:
V: Six feet. Interviewer: Actually? V: Does this look like a face that would lie to you?
ᴏʀɪᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ:
V: You first. Interviewer: Excuse me? V: Hah! Relax, choom, just trying to lighten the mood! Jeez. I’m Pan. Equal opportunity for all. Mostly me.
ɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟɪᴛʏ / ᴇᴛʜɴɪᴄɪᴛʏ:
V: I was born in SoCal, but my parents are both from Mexico. I have a…complicated relationship with my Latino heritage, since it wasn’t really somethin’ that my parents took the time to share with me in detail, or my siblings. Never had the chance to ask why, but after comin’ to Night City, I realized I kinda missed out on a lot growing up.
ᴅᴏɢ ᴏʀ ᴄᴀᴛ ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴ:
V: Well, I have a cat at home. One of those hairless ones. But I did always want a dog. Interviewer: Oh? What kind? V: Xoloitzcuintli.
ꜰᴀᴠᴇ ꜰʀ���ɪᴛ, ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ, ꜰʟᴏᴡᴇʀ, ꜱᴄᴇɴᴛ:
V: Whoa, whoa, slow down, Jesus. Uhh…first one was-? Interviewer: Fruit. V: Right. I like grapes. The purple ones. Interviewer: Why purple? V: Shit, I dunno. They taste better? Interviewer: Heh. Yeah, fair enough. Season? V: I love summer. Life slows down a little, people take more time to relax. I don’t mind the heat, neither, ‘cause I can just go for a swim whenever, or go for a drive with the windows down. Cools me just fine. Interviewer: Preem. V: I like those orange poppy’s that grow all over the Badlands. California poppy’s I think they’re called.
Interviewer: And for your favorite scent? V: Right – probably amber. I've used the same brand of amber-heavy cologne for years. Oh, and I really like that one specific brand of tobacco my mom smoked. Interviewer: What brand was that? V: Can’t recall. Somethin’ imported.
ᴄᴏꜰꜰᴇᴇ, ᴛᴇᴀ ᴏʀ ʜᴏᴛ ᴄʜᴏᴄᴏʟᴀᴛᴇ:
V: Coffee. Double shot. Sometimes triple, if I’m doin’ a long gig. Interviewer: Christ. V: Hey, merc work ain’t easy. It’s that or synthcoke. Interviewer: I’m scared to ask the next question…
ᴀᴠᴇʀᴀɢᴇ ʜᴏᴜʀꜱ ᴏꜰ ꜱʟᴇᴇᴘ:
V: Yikes…like 5? If I’m lucky. Interviewer: I’m not at all surprised. V: The fuck is that supposed to mean?
ɴᴜᴍʙᴇʀ ᴏꜰ ʙʟᴀɴᴋᴇᴛꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱʟᴇᴇᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ:
V: No, no. Hold on. I wanna know why you’re not surprised. Do I got bags under my eyes or somethin’? Interviewer: Actually, no. V: Nova. Interviewer: You got suitcases.
V: You’re fine, choom. I appreciate the banter. I don’t need to sleep with any blankets though. Interviewer: Really? Why not?
V: Sub-dermal armor. Got a bunch of other stuff you can’t see as well – keeps me runnin' hot, all the time.
ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴛʀɪᴘ:
V: Aw, shit. There’s so many places. If I had to pick, I guess…Havana. Interviewer: Cuba. You into history? V: Nah, choom. Beaches.
ꜰᴀᴠᴇ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ:
V: Mad Max. Interviewer: You don’t think that’s a little…stereotypical? V: Does it look like I care? Me and my sister used to pretend we were members of the MFP and annoy the hell out of our brother. I called him nothin' but Toecutter for two years. He hated it.
ʀᴀɴᴅᴏᴍ ꜰᴀᴄᴛ:
V: If you lick a person’s elbow when they’re not looking, they won’t feel it. Interviewer: …huh. Misty: Oh, V… V: It was the first thing that popped into my head, okay, I panicked-
This was a lot of fun to make tbqh. He's such a gonk - that ADHD brain keeps him moving around and fidgeting 24/7 even without the help of caffeine or stims and boosters, and he can talk about himself for hours, the narcissistic dickhead.
Shoutout to my bestest choombatta @klept0kid you deserve to have your name attached to your masterpiece lmao.
tags: @chooh2 @pinkyjulien @meltingangels @ouroboros-hideout @ne0n-rust @netripper @wilxfyre @klept0kid @glitchinginthegarden @nightcxty @shimmer-like-agirl @noirapocalypto @katsigian @wanderingaldecaldo @cyberpunkaddict @elvenbeard @wraithsoutlaws
#cyberpunk 2077#cyberpunk v#cyberpunk photomode#oc: vice de'angelo#my screenshots#he zoomin! look at him go waow#i wish i had that much energy jfc#i am now dragging myself to bed because this took me (and klept0) all day#hopefully all my fuckin tags work this time or i will be very cross 😡
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inspired by the manchester anon haha but do you have any tips and suggestions for visiting leeds? 🩷
I've lived here for 2 years now (!!!) but somehow I still don't really know my way around and just go to the same 5 places and use google maps to get anywhere else. it's sad. but here's some shit I love:
Grindhouse - cheap drinks, loads and loads of seats, never too full, music a reasonable volume, and they project 80s movies on the back wall. we once sat in here for 2 hours cos Stand By Me was on. one time we watched the bar staff earnestly tell a group of women on a hen do that the bar was closed and they weren't serving any more drinks, at 7:45pm. 10/10.
Rudy's - only 9 cities* in this fair nation have a Rudy's, so I'm going to keep reccing it for everyone else. perfect Neapolitan pizza. *Leeds, Manchester, Sheffield, Birmingham, Nottingham, Durham, London, York, Liverpool - if you live in one of these places and haven't been to Rudy's yet, sort it out.
Neon Cactus - go here on a Wednesday and order wings, and you'll get half price margs. lots of great Mexican scran. don't take anyone too picky or over 50, because the price for the great food and vibes is that at least one thing you order will be incorrect. but roll with it. half price margs, man.
Empire Cafe - book in advance if you want to sample the delights of Empire Cafe, cos there's like 6 tables max. everything is seasonal, changes on the daily, and is insanely delicious. if you want to experience heaven, order the steak and chips with salsa verde. there is NOTHING like it.
Stuzzi - another seasonal, small plate sort of place, but Italian. amazing food and a gorgeous restaurant. go with a big group and order one of everything.
Eat Your Greens - ANOTHER seasonal restaurant! this one is farm-to-fork and organic. I can’t speak to the quality as I haven’t actually been, but I am a frequenter of their GREENGROCER, which is MEGA. last time I think I left with natty wine, pâté, some insane tinned fish, a jar of harissa and a bag of sunset potatoes. if you like food, go here.
SARTO - fresh, handmade pasta and picky bits. another great place to go with a group and order all the starters. I had a celeriac pasta there last year that I think about on a fairly regular basis; I picked it cos it was the weirdest sounding thing on the menu and it was fucking mouthwatering. good quality and good people! and it's next door to The Wardrobe, so perfect for a pre-gig tea.
Santiago Bar - like Grindhouse (alternative, casual) but the music is louder and you'll find yourself doing tequila shots at 1am and screaming along to, like, Don Broco. it's the best.
Blue Collar Boys - as a rule I hate 'vintage' clothes shops (overpriced, ugly, everything is XXS), but this place seems to specialise solely in American t-shirts and sweatshirts from the 90s in exactly my size, and everything is £10. this is amazing and a huge bargain if you find something like vintage Wranglers and a Playboy bomber jacket (£20, my wife) but not so amazing or a bargain if you find 3 t-shirts with holes in (£30, me). we've never been without finding shit we love. they only open on random weekends, and they always seem to have more stuff than they could possibly ever sell. it's a freaky vintage alternate universe.
The Corn Exchange - a big gorgeous ol' building full of little businesses. vintage, handmade, tattoos, coffee, jewellery, independent brands, yarn, shoes, a barbers, a bookshop, they've got it all. very easy to spend £100 and 6 hours. every so often they have a market on the bottom floor. perfect tiny representation of Leeds: quirky, independent, delicious, cool.
Silver's Deli - this is a 9-minute train ride away in Bramley (my ends!) but has become THEE buzzy foodie spot recently. go on a sunny saturday morning (cos you will probably have to sit outside) and order the everything sandwich. thank me later. if they have scotch eggs or sausage rolls on, I beseech you, order both. and if you want the sunday special prepare to get there at 11 and fight.
Against the Grain - if you've come to Bramley for Silver's, you may as well trundle 10 minutes up the road and visit the best bar in Leeds. cosy, casual, full of locals, hidden in Swinnow Mills. it's a sit-around-and-chat-to-people sort of place, with bonus charcuterie boards AND a pizza van on weekends. we are here A LOT, because Gray's Salon and Rose and Thorn Tattoo are both in the Mill, and we give them all our money. oh! and dog friendly. sooo many dogs.
Project House/Galleria - if you've gotten the train out to Bramley for Silver's and ATG, jump on the 72 back to town and get off at Project House to eat MORE food. Galleria is a great place to get breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and Project House has EVERYTHING (depending on the day). yoga! gigs! vintage fairs! a bi-annual tattoo convention meets makers market with food vendors called Hand of Glory! check what's on and head on down to support local!
Kirkstall Bridge Inn - another one local(ish) to me, but worth travelling out of town for; a PROPER pub (i.e. no tv, no sports, no shite) that does roasts upstairs and lets dogs in downstairs. outdoor seating right by the canal, and every so often they put something on and the car park turns into a tiny festival. Kirkstallpalooza is a highlight. great place to finish a nice canal walk (who am I?!).
tl;dr sorry that this is obnoxiously long, I love Leeds
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Hello hello I have very big and complicated questions that started out broad and complex but got more and more specific and more and more personal like my questions to my family and friends always do. Whoops lol. Buckle up.
I wanted to ask about fanfiction. I've really been thinking about that post you made about how a lot of fanfiction can be just used as a form of escapism, and not in a good way like Tolkien described it, but as a 'I hate life so I'm gonna read and write extensively about fictional characters rather than working hard/trying to improve my own life' Which I really want to avoid and not do. In the past I've certainly fallen into that trap- I would get so caught up in writing Marvel or Percy Jackson or Harry Potter fanfiction (not to toot my own horn, but was objectively good and I do think grew my skills a lot as a writer and character analyzer) that I would spend every free moment and many of ones when I really should've been working on school or chores or spending time with my actual family reading and writing it. I was probably doing that 5-8 hours a day when I was 11/12. (Yikes) Thankfully, my parents smacked some sense into me lol. It really just goes to show you how, for lack of a better term, soul-consuming, that these kind of fantasy pursuits can really be. Thankfully, I don't do that any more. I actively limit myself to a max of 3 hours of reading and writing fanfiction over the course of a week, which is a big improvement.
So yay! Now I have a definte separation from writing fanfiction to improve my writing and writing it to waste time because all of my energy is focused on it to the point where it is in my every thought. Good! Growth!
But now my new thing is this- I want to make sure that any and all fanfiction I write has a definite point. I want it to point to good things and have clear messages and blue flowers and point to Jesus, even if it isn't specifically a 'Christian' fanfiction.
For example, let's just point at that Voice in the Dark one shot I wrote, which is one of, if not the, best singular fiction piece that I've written. I think the reasons why it was so good was that A) I expanded on the story in a way that was intriguing, and got inside my characters heads and accurately depicted their thought processes through it B) Made it pleasant to read with details and action and emotion and everything, C) set everything up for a part 2 conclusion of Sam and Five really connecting and talking about what they both said/thought, and becoming friends (which after procrastinating for months, I'm finally working on), but most importantly, D) Had clear themes of hope, perseverance, connection, trust, and encouragement. Which is really what I think made it so much more excellent than other fanfiction pieces I've written. I had a clear point and intention going into it that was more than just 'Have it be something I love and just for my entertainment' although that was one of the reasons I did decide to write it I will say- you do have to love what you want to write in order to write it well after all. But this is absolutely what I want the point of all my fanfiction writing to be like from here on out, being morally great, as well as well-written.
So now, because I really enjoy ZR and its really is kinda perfect for a fanfiction format, I want to turn it into more of an ongoing piece with my favorite missions and Five's relationships with the characters. But how do I go about this trying to intentionally bring in blue flowers and good messages and beautiful themes, and not just only write it for my entertainment because its a piece of media I love? How to I make sure to firstly know what themes I can bring in, and then do it in such a way that's well-written, while also being able to have those fun moments and situations that are both in the game and I've thought up?
And finally, last thing, is I'm wrestling through if I should continue writing fanfiction to 'fix' a story (which is why I started a Percy Jackson and Marvel fanfictions, I wanted to take the parts of each story I didn't like and were poorly done and make them better) rather than make my own point with it. For most of the fanfiction writing I've ever done, my goal was to improve it, to act like a ghostwriting editor the author hired to fix their fundamentally flawed story. But now I'm realizing that I was spending so much time and effort (which don't get me wrong, I do not fully regret, I really do think that I've gotten far better at fiction writing through this) and I didn't even add any more goodness or morals to the story in a way that made it more soul-sustaining and truly good. I wanted to add a lot of bits that made be as a reader squeal and get happy over which... I don't think is bad per say, but its not what I want my fanfiction to be like any more. With my writing, I absolutely do want to improve on the source material, yes, but I also want to figure out what sort of themes and goodness I'm going for with it. So should I continue writing these large projects (cause each piece covers several books/movies) for improvement and also try to expand on the good ideas and themes the authors had, even bringing in my own, or should I just set it aside as that was great, but now I need to focus on making writing morally good and not just for entertainment?
I know a big part of this is wisdom and descretion- things that God has blessed me with but I know I always can pursue more of. So I know a absolute perfect answer to this question will require time and experience. But after sorting through my word-vomiting (sorry lol), what would you say to all of this? Thank you!! <3
Hey! First of all, I love getting questions from you, and I especially love it because you take enough time to read the previous things I say that we can have a very level conversation, and a deep back-and-forth, which is not always the case with everybody who sends me questions (I like those questions too, I’m just saying.) So thanks for typing all that up!
Second of all, I’m no expert on fanfiction writing. You’ve read what I have to say about making sure the “Tone & Style” and “Themes” of any “Continued Work” stay true to their source material when it comes to like, sequels and expansions? Well, I guess I would apply that philosophy, generally, to fanfiction, too.
But the point of my “second of all” is actually, there are better people to ask about this than me. I can answer you in a broad “here’s how I apply my storytelling philosophy to this hypothetical scenario” sense, but other people have more experience actually doing what you’re talking about with fanfiction. Specifically, @doverstar, who, if you don’t follow her or read her stuff, I seriously think you’re missing out.
So in summary, talk to Doverstar. She’ll answer this better. But if I had to try and succinctly respond, I’d say: “Intentionality is always better than doing something by accident. But if you genuinely value goodness, beauty, and truth, in your own personal worldview, in a way that is genuine, and you cultivate that…it’ll come out in your writing on accident.” So in a way, even when you’re being intentional, as long as you remember that, you don’t have to be too militant whether you’re writing fanfiction or fiction.
(That’s a thought I’m still learning to put into practice, myself. I err on the side of “control everything to a T, outline everything, everything has to have a tie-in to the theme—if it doesn’t you’re failing—“ and I don’t recommend that mindset 😅) That’s the “short” answer to your ask. I’ve got a deep-dive below the cut if you’re interested, though.
How do I make sure to firstly know what themes I can bring in?
This has to do with knowing the source-story.
ZR unfortunately gets very political and social in further seasons, but to do it credit, the main, recurring, broad theme of Zombies, Run continues to be “Something greater than yourself is all that’s worth living and dying for.”
They keep coming back to it with literally every villain, and every hero, from multiple angles. You’ll see. They say, “the pursuit of pure happiness alone is bad because it’s selfish—the pursuit of immortality is bad because it’s selfish—the pursuit of everyone’s affections is bad because it’s selfish; but sacrificing for others is the real happiness, the real immortality, the real love, etc.”
So any fanfiction—even if, surface-read, it appears to be about Five falling in love with Sam or Janine learning to communicate, etc—that comes back to “Something greater than yourself is all that’s worth living and dying for.” is a success. Because it carried on the Main Point of ZR. Or it carried on a point that could be tied to the main point, whatevs.
But your question (for other fandoms) is “How do I know what themes I can bring in?”
Okay, well, that’s actually not so hard. Lots of “sub-themes” fit under the umbrella of the main theme. “Something greater than yourself,” well, that entails “self-sacrifice, gaining a broader perspective, finding empathy,” etc. (something you can see they do with sheltered characters or brittle, mission-focused miopic characters like Janine.)
But how did I find the main theme to begin with? This post. In summary:
Take in the Story, With the Single Expectation that They’re Trying to Tell You Something.
Take Note of Where You Felt Something. Then Figure Out Why You Felt It.
Figure Out What Each Character Wants, and If They Have a Moment of Change.
Look at What Decisions the Storytellers Reward, and What Decisions They Punish.
You can apply this to Marvel, to Percy Jackson, to anything. Once you figure out the main theme, it’s not so hard to break that down into little supporting ideas. And inject those into your own story. And you can even figure out where the storytellers dropped the ball, or lost their theme and did something totally out-of-character, and then fix that with your fanfiction.
Or, galaxy-brain, is when you figure out what the story was trying to say—and it was saying something bad or wrong, but you liked some of the setting or characterizations, you can fix that. Like I’ve always wanted to do with A Streetcar Named Desire.
What you don’t want to do is try to make the story about a theme that has nothing to do with any good or true thing—it’s just gratuitous. For example, I see about sixty fanfics for Twisters (one of my new favorite movies, you may recall) and they’re all about Tyler (the main guy) needing to be defended from his abusive alcoholic dad.
There is no mention of his dad, or alcohol, or Tyler having any emotional trauma, at all, in Twisters. Because the point of the movie Twisters is the girl character’s trauma (and her best friend’s,) and Tyler’s role in all of that is to be the guy who pushes her past that. Because he’s lived a lifestyle of “you ride your fears, you don’t run from them, you don’t even just face them.”
So why would a character who’s whole conception, who was created to say that, be curled up in a sad little miserable ball because his out-of-nowhere made-up father is back in town? He wouldn’t do that. His lifestyle is “ride your fears.” He’d be the guy reaching out and inviting his dad to lunch to see if something he does can make the outcome different, even though his dad never shows up, or always makes a scene, or whatever, because that would be “riding his fears.” That’s Tyler’s character. So why would you have him curl into a little ball and need his 126-lb girlfriend to defend him?
I’ll tell you why, it’s because the point of your story was not the point of Twisters, or anything good. The point of your story was, “I have a thing for emotional scenes where a man gets all weak and vulnerable and needs his love interest to take care of him,” and it shows. So you just hung skin-puppets and names of established characters on “your thing” and that’s trash storytelling. The characters are supposed to serve the story, and the story is supposed to serve the audience, not serve you.
That would be an extreme example of what not to do.
And then do it in such a way that's well-written, while also being able to have those fun moments and situations that are both in the game and I've thought up?
If my fanfic is all about Sam and Five coming clean about their feelings together, that’s fine—but they should be driven to do that because not doing that is selfish. And selfishness is the opposite of “something greater than yourself is all that’s worth living and dying for.” So I’d have Sam avoid admitting to himself that Five means so much to him because if he does, he opens himself up to crippling worry after what happened to Alice. So out of fear, which is ultimately self-protection, he doesn’t admit that he has feelings for her. But then eventually he comes to realize that caring about someone else actually drives him to work harder for the Greater Good, etc.
See what I mean? Your fanfic can be a string of scenes of will-they-won’t-they, romcom popcorn, as long as the thread holding them together is that character arc that points back to the game’s main theme.
To make it well-written, you just have to be genuine. I know everyone has lots of good tips like “show don’t tell” but books like Jane Eyre tell much more than they show. Some people say, “break up the pace with dialogue,” or “cut the tension with comedy, then ramp it back up,” etc., but there’s no cut to the tension in Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde. There’s breaks to every rule. There’s an audience for every style. Just do what C. S. Lewis says and “tell the truth, without caring two pence if it’s original.”
If you know your source material and love the loveable parts for what it is, and then you marry that with what you really believe and value in the real world, you’ll get it.
Know what you’re trying to say, love what you’re trying to say, and sacrifice to say it.
I think now that you’re thinking about this stuff, you’re going to have a hard time not writing something morally good, with entertainment as a supporting pillar.
#zombies run!#zombies run#zr#zr!#zrx#sixtostart#sam yao#runner five#5am#fanfiction#writing#meta#writing tips#writing advice#Doverstar#doverstartj#twisters#Kate#Kate Carter#Tyler Owens#movies#writer#state of the fandom#storytelling#asked#answered
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FIC WRITER INTERVIEW
tagged by @glasscushion thank youuuuuu <3
How many works do you have on AO3?
currently 60 but i periodically nuke my ao3 so that's not really the total and i know i've got quite a few on anon even now
What's your total AO3 word count?
457,512. what the fuck. that's like 2/3 of the bible. (if any of the words in my fic were in the bible)
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
ok i was so certain i could predict the order of these and i literally only got the top one right because what
climb up to your lips (girloscar, multi-chapter, 719 kudos)
shoreline i see when i'm off course (a/b/o, loscar & mando, wrote in about half an hour in a fugue state, 628 kudos)
just telling it like it is (lando/maxv, stupid little 5+1 thing i increasingly dislike and might orphan, 458 kudos)
(i) just wanna get a little bit closer (mando, honestly probably not the one i would have expected to be the most popular you know? like i think i would've assumed that was no plans of staying on. not that i dislike this one massively or anything it's just definitely one of my least thought through fics. 482 kudos)
every colour illuminates (genders georg/lando, if i'm objective about it i think this is probably my best fic or at least it's the most pure love letter to queerness which is sort of what they all are. 467 kudos)
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
i would like to. i always intend to. then i get overwhelmed and avoidant. i can't handle people saying nice things about me or at least have to sort of microdose it and responding feels too difficult sometimes, at the same time as i desperately crave praise haha really hard to tell i have a failed past involving a racing license definitely no need to dig into that one. there are some comments people have left on my work that mean so, so much and i hoard them and read them again when i can manage it so if i don't respond don't think it's because i don't want comments or don't appreciate them, my head is just a bear trap.
What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
i don't really write angst but it's probably one of my george/mercedes ones like don't say no or you'll have to go (george/valtteri, the horror of getting what you want) or well past the weeds (george/toto, fucked up team debrief dynamics) - lando is incredibly easy for me to project onto because my lando is just me but younger and richer and hotter but the real psychological goop gets spilled out onto george.
What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?
definitely every colour illuminates or pick me up, no headlights (george and max accidentally acquire a baby) which are sort of intentionally good outcomes. but i actually think turn my heart into something gold, where lando sort of sorts himself out, is maybe the most optimistic.
Do you write crossovers?
not in a true sense. i'll write an au but i don't like the idea of blending characters, idk why but that feels too chaotic for the blorbo sandbox. i guess maybe every day i let go just a little bit more is a crossover in the sense f1 and fe really are totally separate worlds.
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
no. probably loads of people hate my fic but they don't tell me about it, which is exactly the way i'd like to keep it. fic is a safe little sandbox for me to play in.
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
haha. well. all the kinds? no, that's not true - you can definitely tell when you're reading an emptyhalf production. i've got a lot of things i think are incredibly hot that don't necessarily feature as essential to other writers (which is fine obviously! these are my tics not a ticklist) from ~broader concept things~ like having really clear consent to a thing for like, thinking it's hot when someone parts their legs? idk. brains man. generally i'd say i have a courageous approach to the concept of inserting things pretty much anywhere. i don't really give a shit about blow jobs tho and that probably shows. (which is funny cus i quite like giving them and am happy to make someone suck a strap? they've just never done anything for me as something to think about for whatever reason)
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
i think i did ages ago when there was some wattpad theft thing idk
Have you ever had a fic translated?
i think i have but i can't remember which one
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
i feel like nearly all my fics are co-written bc they often come from ideas in group chats or discords or whatever. and i quite often have to ask for help with shit i don't know about because i'm stupid as hell. i wrote burn a hole as a sort of postquel part of ivycrowned's fic, which is probably the most collaborative i've ever really been in that sense. i think the only fics that have been totally my own thoughts are the daniel goes to fe one and girloscar. altho with a lot of my mando the co-creators are max and lando so 🤷🏻♀️
What's your all-time favorite ship?
idk man. lando x being able to be vulnerable enough to get what you want. queerness x living a life in full vibrancy and without fear.
What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?
god i really do actually want to finish daniel goes to fe but i haven't been able to open the document for ages because there are millions of things wrong with me.
What are your writing strengths?
when i am in the mood i can bang out a lot of words. i think i am more easily able to access lando-voice than a lot of people bc i too am a whiny goblin but idk if that's a strength per se.
What are your writing weaknesses?
lmao god how long have we got what's the character limit on a tumblr post. uh, so. i don't plan i just write. like literally nothing goes on i just switch on the word tap and words come out. i don't edit, ever which means my fics are littered with grammatical errors (how DO commas work? not like that) and repeated words and shit that annoy the hell out of me when i spot them later. i have so many weird phrasing tics. i don't understand the concept of romance. i have a very offbeat and queer interpretation of relationships that only tangentially links to "normal." my kinks are excruciatingly obvious.
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
i think i don't really give a shit? like i probably wouldn't do it unless it was a language i could write it in first time because of the aforementioned 'turning on the word tap' method but idk if i care what other people are doing. i find it mildly off-putting when people write characters speaking their second language and throw words from their first language in because that is not how anyone speaking a second language talks or at least, it tends to get done wrong. like when i'm speaking english i will use words from (original language) but only in the context of referring to eg: a relative (like an italian saying nonna not granny) or if i really can't remember the word for some food or something. but also it's like, largely harmless and far from the biggest writing sin out there.
(the biggest writing sin is obviously having an incorrect take on my blorbos and also woobification and especially incorrect woobification of my blorbos)
What was the first fandom you wrote for?
p sure i would dox myself if i said this but i have written for quite a few. i've never been as active in a fandom or for as long as with f1 rpf. (shout out to the livejournal girlies, of which loads ended up working in f1)
What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?
i would never exercise the self-restraint to stop myself writing something i wanted to tbh
What's your favorite fic you've written?
idk. probably girloscar, i was proud of myself for finishing that. it's difficult for me to think positively about things i've done, so i don't know that i have favourites. the ones i re-read the most myself are genders georg and genders maxy. who can say if i have something going on with genders! but yeah idk i don't think i write like defining fics or anything profound like a lot of people do, it's mostly just weird horny thoughts percolating into a gdoc like drip coffee. actually you know what, it might be has-a-pussy-with-no-real-explanation max.
tagging @saintdevote @strawcars @lost-decade @des-iderate if you haven't been tagged already and no pressure obviously!
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Gray's SuperBat Fic Recs
I have spent since May reading through the SuperBat tag on AO3 and have over 100 fics saved in my bookmarks but @thebibliosphere mentioned wanting some recs so I'm going to just rec a few that live in my head rent free.
(these are in no particular preference order other than they're probably in this order in my bookmarks XD) (also if you're an author and I have tagged the wrong blog let me know and I will change it)
An Innocent Cicisbeo by @mithen - This is the most recent one I've bookmarked, so it's very much so on my mind. I'm not usually one for Regency AUs but I really like how this one handled keeping everyone's powers and abilities but making them more tailored to the age. Also it's an arranged marriage AU and I am very weak for those.
Take Care of Business by @frownyalfred - A work teleconference that descends into absolute chaos in the form of the batkids, who woke up and chose violence. This one is good on it's own but there's also a podfic version by @mayonnaisetoffees that kicks that chaos up to 11.
Through a Glass Darkly by @susiecarter - An apocalypse AU of the snyderverse, this one is quite dark but slowly grows more positive over time. It features some extremely spot-on characterizations and an overall Mad Max vibe that I enjoy immensely.
This Time Around by @castlesteads - What's better than one formerly dead person trying to find their place in the world? TWO formerly dead people trying to find their place in the world. Clark helps Jason claw his way out of his grave and back to the land of the living. I love a found family where they quite literally find each other in the most heartbreaking ways possible.
Build Me A Place (we'll call it home) by @spiritsflame - I love it when Kryptonians are completely normal until they really aren't. This one features Clark completely remodeling his apartment because of courtship instincts and Bruce badly fumbling the entire situation. I just want to shake both of them.
don't know the rules but i got to win by @susiecarter - This is another weird Kryptonian trait thing... but this time it is non-standard abstract reproduction feat. gardening. Surprisingly enough this isn't even the first fandom I have come across with gardening as a reproductive vector. Always a different take though. This one features literal fruit-based flirting and innuendo, for a start.
A Common Misconception by rotasha - I have a very special place in my heart for fake dating aus, but this one is like watching two guys play an extremely slow and obvious game of chicken while not even realizing they're in a game at all. Fake dating for a whole year without catching feelings? Psh, easy. Spoiler alert, I don't entirely remember right now but I don't think they even make it a year XD
over this threshold by orphean - Another fake dating au but an entirely different vibe. Getting married for tax reasons is the oldest trick in the book but I am always here for falling in love when you're already planning on getting married. Also for someone so very smart Bruce can be extremely dumb and I love that for him.
Masking by @bombusbombus - I've read this fic like... probably more than 5 times and I am working (slowly) on a podfic of it. It heavily features both Clark and Bruce being neurodivergent together and falling in love via spending long hours in parallel play and infodumping and mutual unmasking both literal and figurative and just... I see a lot of myself in this fic.
There's a ton more I could rec, they're all in my bookmarks on AO3 but these are the ones that live in my brain the most these days. I hope others like them as much as I do.
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You'll be pleased to know I didn't stay up til 4, i just woke up at 6.30 and promptly fell back asleep for 5 hours after reading this last chapter. I've done a couple comments on ao3 now but old habits is infecting my brain so I need to come yell here too.
That website was so cool i can see why with all your coding of various elements of this fic youre switching your degree! a massive good luck for that!!
Matt and Callan have kidnapped me so I understand why you struggled so much to get them to behave. They feel so real as characters that I'm now so sad I can't read more fics about them. Mattlan is now one of my top 5 rpf ships and they don't even fulfill the Real Person requirements there. I wish them both the best in their future red bull/mercedes adventures and championship battle that in my head has to happen.
Max and Daniel are perfect in this. I love your characterisation of them both so much and I hope they have a long and happy life together where Max continues to move the dog statue even though Daniel knows its him now, and Daniel refuses to get rid of it.
Congratulations on finishing this, it'sso good.
As always, I hope your surgery recovery is going well (I have no idea what the recovery time is but completeing this so soon after surgery is such an achievement) and I can't wait to see what you do next, whenever that is.
firstly, very glad that you didn’t stay up haha. im really glad you like the website because i honestly could not sleep tuesday morning because i was laying in bed like “oh my god i hope someone got in oh my god i hope it works”…
now with the website out i've already got cogs turning to try and keep doing these interactive pieces of media because they're my favourite thing. especially because i think it works so well with the social media format. but it's also like i think i've already hit my peak, i legitimately do not know what else i can do that is in my current scope.
matthew and callan. who knew when i went on name generator dot org dot uk that this is where they would be? not me! (also i do find it slightly funny that out of the three main original characters two of them are variations of each other. matthew. matteo. didn't really realise until the last chapter. maybe i'll throw in a mattia to complete the trifecta.)
you made me laugh out loud when you said "Mattlan is now one of my top 5 rpf ships and they don't even fulfill the Real Person requirements there." because this is exactly how i feel. it's maxiel. then mattlan. and they truly only exist in my mind. and it's little bit scary that i'm like the canonical source for it, i'm the one holding the sword. but in true matthew and callan fashion i'm so confident in their abilities to just show up in places they're not meant to be in (see movie star maxiel universe. they're red bull drivers there. so at least in one universe everyone got their wish for them to return to red bull together!) they'll probably annoy and haunt the fuck out of me until i write a proper story for them so i wouldn't worry about not seeing them again.
max goes to extreme lengths to move the dog statue every time daniel comes back home from a race. like daniel could be dead on his feet in desperate need of a hot shower and his own bed but he's not going to bed until he finds this damn dog.
(and thank you for the well wishes on the surgery, i can finally eat real food again so i'm much happier. i literally don't want to see soup or mashed food for like two years. you don't know what you miss until it's gone 💔)
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12 Questions about F1 through the years
I was tagged by @twinkodium Thank you sm girl! This one's my fave so far <3
I tag whoever wants to do this in F1blr <3
1. Who or what got you into F1?
My dad. He grew up in a racing/car family and automatically transfered that love to me when I was just five days old and he held me up in the hospital to show me the German GP of 1999 on TV. We always joke I've watched F1 since I was born, which is no lie. Since then, we've seen almost every race together. We've also gone to 15 F1 GPs together.
2. Who was the very first F1 driver you supported? Do you support them now? Have your opinions on them differed or stayed the same since then?
Michael Schumacher. My dad is a Jenson Button fan and he's convinced I started supporting Schumi just to annoy him. I don't fully remember why I chose Michael, but my best guess is I fell in love with the red car that kept winning. I love him still and still hope he gets better someday.
3. Who’s your current favourite F1 driver?
After 16 years of supporting Sebastian Vettel, I ended up supporting Max Verstappen in 2023. My dad's been supporting him ever since his debut, and made him his main since Jenson retired. However, I didn't get there that quickly. I adored Max when he began F1. Got annoyed with him a lot in 2018 and 2019 when he kept having run ins with Seb (fave bias I guess), but once 2020 I grew to adore him and in 2021 I fell in love. He'll never reach the same level for me as Seb did in my heart (he's my hero after all, since I was 6), but I love him sm already.
4. Is there a driver pairing or pairings you support? What made you attracted to that pairing in the first place?
I love so many F1 duo's, but my two faves are Sebastidan and Lestappen.
Sebastidan got me out of my high school depression phase in 2017. I remember feeling extra down when Seb lost his chance at the title that year in Japan. I was so frustrated and watched video's of them as teammates the whole day. I've adored them since and while they aren't a fanfavorite, I can't help but enjoy the bits and pieces we still get from them.
Lestappen. I got into them last year during their - sadly short - title fight. The history they have, the connection, is something so unique. They also seem to become better friends with each passing month. I'd love to see them as teammates someday.
5. Do your parents, siblings or relatives have a favourite team and/or favourite driver(s)?
Dad's a Max and RB fan. He hates Mercedes and especially Toto. His past faves are Senna, Hill and Jenson. Mom has watched F1 since she's been with dad (1985), but never got into it. She always liked Nico Rosberg though!
6. Do you have any favourite races? Are there any that stand out to you the most?
Belgium 2014 as it was my first live GP. Belgium 2018 as it was the first time I saw Seb win live. Abu Dhabi 2012, which was epic Abu Dhabi 2021, I'll never forget that day Brazil 2008, it was mind blowing.
And probably many more!
7. Do you have a favourite circuit? Can be from the past or from the current calendar.
Spa. It's my home track which I've been visiting since I was a toddler. And Zolder, for the same reasons.
I also adore the Red Bull Ring, Yas Marina circuit and Monza.
8. Have you ever been to an F1 race in real life? Feel free to tell us your experience going to one if you like.
15 in total! 14 times the Belgian GP (would've been 15 if it weren't for 2020) and 1 time the Austrain GP. It's always amazing! The organisation of Spa has changed for the better as well!
9. Have you ever met an F1 driver in real life?
Several times the whole grid before 2020, because it wasn't as difficult to get close to them. In Spa they organized hours long signing sessions at la Source for everyone with a weekend ticket. Since then I've seen them mostly from a distance. The closest I've come to talking a while to someone was Charles in 2018, Seb several times and Daniel also a few times. I still get butterflies thinking about it <3
10. Do you have a favourite F1 car? If so, what is it?
RB19 (2023), it's such a precious car <3 Seb's 2010 RB. The Ferrari from 2004. Brawn GP car from 2009.
11. Do you have a favourite one win wonder?
Not really. Unless, you count Oscar's sprint win from last year.
12. Do you have any favourite quotes from the F1 world? This can either be inspirational or hilarious.
‘If you no longer go for a gap which exists you are no longer a racing driver’ - Aryton Senna -
'Enjoy these moments. We know they won't last forever.' - Sebastian Vettel -
'Enjoy the butterflies' - Daniel Ricciardo -
'If I get a few more, I think I'll headbut someone' - Max Verstappen -
'God might be with him, but he's no God' - Max Verstappen -
Thank you so much for this tag, hun <3
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F1 Secret Santa damage report:
"This is for the boat" ~ Captain Fernando!
"22, who's number 22?" LANCE please
"It's dragon which means Zhou!" His little smile in the apron omg
"That's not a calendar is it?" words said moments before disaster "Thanks Charles for sending me Valtteri's ass." !!!!!! Charles what did you do?
"I normally expect something funny for these kind of secret santa - Now I can play against Fernando very soon." Charles do you promise?
"Well that's a tripod" so true
"I love my coffee especially with such a cool emoji" 🥱
"That's to put my toothbrush I guess" never change Esteban never change
"I'll probably keep hold of this a good couple of hours before I get rid of it"
"It's probably gonna be from Logan"
"I have no idea I just need to get it open"
"It's very light, that's not very good ah. CRISPS??? Not very prepared are they" Lando being Lando and we love that XD
"This literally could be anyone *giggles* Oscar's on here"
"I honestly have no idea, apart from the fact that they told me about 5 mins ago by accident" Dani how does that happen Dani? LMAO
"I came late so I got a bone to pick with whoever selected it" Daniel firing shots before he even knows who it is XD "This is not the first time I've received alcohol for secret santa"
"Yellow shoes. They're not really my style but I like them. I think I can wear them at some point"
"Interesting - a simple lovely look at butts in art. It's really creative actually" He had the hard read on Max lmao
"I think we have to start with the card right, it's always the most important" you sentimental ass giving softie
"This is dangerous"
"Are you gonna wear them though?"
*Nods* "No"
Carlos just try them on one time it might be fun
"This is a beautiful gift. He knows Valtteri very well. And he will know Valtteri even better with my gift" *evil giggling*
11/10 secret santa video!!!!!!!!
#formula 1#f1 secret santa#my reaction#charles leclerc#f1 2023#f1blr#so many good quotes in this one#Charles really decided he wanted to traumatize Zhou this year
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♡ 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐒. ♡ Tag 10 followers you’d like to get to know better
TAGGED BY @dreamieparadise (thank you! 💜)
TAGGING. @azaracyy @social-muffin @yenosiria @shiawase-rina (feel free to ignore if u don't want to do this hehe also my brain is not braining rn, 4 ppl is my max, whoever wanna do this can do so too!)
✧. ┊ 𝑵𝑨𝑴𝑬 : Ein! People I comm'd probably already saw my irl name but let's close our eyes 😆 Tho if we're friends, you can ask for my irl name. (lowkey I'm more used to being called Ein than my irl name)
✧. ┊ 𝑨𝑳𝑰𝑨𝑺 : Just Ein again lmaooo
✧. ┊ 𝑮𝑬𝑵𝑫𝑬𝑹 : I've been suspecting that I may highly likely be nonbinary but I'm too busy with my work and hobbies/personal projects to find out about it now.
✧. ┊ 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹 𝑺𝑰𝑮𝑵 : Aries!
✧. ┊ 𝑯𝑬𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻 : 150cm - 152cm 🧍♀️ around two years ago, I went to my annual physical exam and got a height measurement of 152cm, which made me happy bc I've been 150cm since high school. But then this year, I got 150cm...so I...I shrunk...?👁️👄👁️ I will never let go of that 152cm.......I'm still 152cm in my heart...
✧. ┊ 𝑺𝑬𝑿𝑼𝑨𝑳𝑰𝑻𝒀 : Somewhere in the ace spectrum (maybe ace, maybe gray, idk bruh), but I'm too busy with work and hobbies/personal projects to find out what it is exactly.
✧. ┊ 𝑨𝑽𝑬𝑹𝑨𝑮𝑬 𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑹𝑺 𝑶𝑭 𝑺𝑳𝑬𝑬𝑷 : According to my smartwatch app, it's 5 hours 👍✨
✧. ┊ 𝑫𝑶𝑮 𝑶𝑹 𝑪𝑨𝑻 𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑶𝑵 : I love both! But I'll just say I'm a dog person because I have a pet dog lol
✧. ┊ 𝑩𝑳𝑨𝑵𝑲𝑬𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑺𝑳𝑬𝑬𝑷 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 : I don't really pay attention to it that much, but I really like the soft & fluffy ones.
✧. ┊ 𝑫𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑴 𝑻𝑹𝑰𝑷 : Japan again!!! Going on a one week trip there improved my physical and mental health, fr fr, not kidding. Maybe I should just live there idk. Also wanna visit online friends' countries and meet with them! Most feasible rn are SEA countries hehe I'll save up for it and visit someday my SEA homies, you know who u are. Second most feasible is Europe, because I will highly likely apply for a Schengen visa sometime in the future but not so soon.
✧. ┊ 𝑩𝑳𝑶𝑮 𝑩𝑰𝑹𝑻𝑯𝑫𝑨𝑻𝑬 : I just checked and my first post is around August 15, 2014. But it should be a few years older than that because I lurked A LOT in certain fandoms before my first post. Safest bet is probably around 2011, which is when I was obsessing over Ina11 and stalking ask accounts here.
✧. ┊ 𝑾𝑯𝒀 𝑰 𝑴𝑨𝑫𝑬 𝑨 𝑻𝑼𝑴𝑩𝑳𝑹 𝑩𝑳𝑶𝑮 : I wanted a tumblr account to follow ask accounts of my favorite characters.
✧. ┊ 𝑼𝑹𝑳 𝑴𝑬𝑨𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮 : It was from an Uta//Pri Drama CD called "Masquerade Mirage" and the character that my oshi (Ai) is playing as back then is named "Einsatz". I was very down bad for Ai back then, you don't understand. Anyway, the actual "Einsatz" username was already taken so I added a few z's at the end since I'm too lazy to think up a new one (idek that it's a german word). Mutuals/friends back then started to call me "Ein", I just rolled with it and now it's just stuck to me. I don't really wanna change it anymore, even if Uta//Pri isn't an active interest of mine now.
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My parents found out about the present I bought myself for my birthday. I worked my max hours to afford it. I had it shipped to my bfs house so they wouldn't see it. Apparently I missed a receipt that was hidden in the box. Idk how they got it anyway cause I put the box out with the trash/recycling. My mom was being so cruel about it and how I keep buying myself "lavish" gifts (most stuff I buy for fun is like $10-$50 max). I always plan my purchases and have never missed a credit card payment. Most of my money goes towards doctors visits, medication, car maintenance and gas, accessibility items/ergonomic stuff, cat food and litter, and hygiene. Recently I stopped most of my subscriptions save for a cheap minecraft server. The bulk of my pay goes into savings which have really grown since I got my raise. I also give my parents $400 in rent each month. I'm trying to save up for a recliner to replace my bed but I don't want to use the money I've already put away.
Like ok, maybe I'm not mr.frugal. maybe i sometimes buy more expensive things because they're more convenient (like already cut vegetables/fruit or preprepared meals) but like my hands fucking hurt and sometimes I don't have the spoons to feed myself. Maybe I fall prey to impulse purchases once in a while. Im learning and I'm trying to learn how to budget bc now I have to also pay for insurance until I can get on medicaid.
My mom acts like I don't care. She sees amazon packages come for me and think theyre all toys or expensive skincare or junk when its actually body wipes for when I cant shower/so i dont come back from the field to the office all stinky. Its a trash can I can keep on my bedshelf so I dont throw trash onto the floor instead. Its knee braces because my knees fucking suck. Once in a while Ill see something on sale that ive been wanting for a while and will grab it. And the most expensive skincare I use is $20 for a jar that lasts me 3 months. I have to keep my skin clear or ill pick and have scabs and blood all over my face again. I spend money on drag because it MAKES me money. Last time I got paid $100 from the venue and $50 in tips. One time I got paid $300 from the venue (i dont remember how much in tips).
Im trying my best. Im working with 3 government agencies rn to get a job and get health coverage. Im working my ass off at my job when i probably shouldnt be working (my mom laughed when I mentioned this). I'm constantly doing things to earn me money or to make life a bit less painful. Even streaming is a desperate attempt to make a career/side gig out of something I enjoy and doesn't make me flare up. I only watch shows when im with my bf or when im doing chores or working. I rarely play video games. When I flare I lay in bed and scroll Tumblr or play a mindless dress up game where I only have to move my thumb. I cry almost everyday. I cry on the way to work. I cry holding my cat in so much pain i cant move.
The only big frivilous purchases I've made is the present and a new graphics card (I haven't replaced my old one in a decade). The present cost $230 and the graphics card cost $800. Both of these I saved for. I might buy a nice skirt once in a while but thats pretty much it. I also spread out big purchases over time when I can.
Am I spoiled? Maybe. Maybe my parents are right and I'm a lazy spoiled kid who just makes excuses. But my pain is real, constant, and severe.
I have friends who's birthday presents consist of trips to fucking italy or the bahamas. Who complain when their parents drag them on yet another international vacation. Some are amazing people who are grateful and work their asses off. And some of them are a bit entitled. My mom said most 26 year olds are living on their own with jobs and I fucking laughed. The only 26 year olds with their own apartments especially in my area either have 5 roommates in a 2 bedroom shithole, got lucky and have a high paying tech job, their parents pulled strings to get them hired, or their parents are paying partly or fully for their apartment.
And when i tried to find an apartment? She discouraged me and told me id never be able to afford one (correct) but now im suddenly able to when it suits her argument? Ive been heavily job hunting for over a year and got ONE interview who ghosted me after two interviews. I make $2k MAX. Rent in my area is $1700-2500 for a freaking studio. The $1700 one doesn't let you see the apartment and gets snapped up immediately. And these are all apartments within a 2 hour radius. All the "affordable housing" is for people 55 and older.
Like I literally have no options. I can't move until I get a job in that area. I can't leave the country cause Im disabled and also thats fucking expensive. My bf makes less than me and even combined we couldn't afford a place.
Literally, I've never been suicidal before. Ive never struggled with that due to my fear of death. But all of this? Ive recently had suicidal thoughts and its fucking scary. Thoughts that killing myself would make it easier for everyone else. That it would be easier to just end it, that life will always be a living hell and i should just give up. And thats fucking scary! I shouldn't have those thoughts! But that's how bad it is.
I try to do what my therapist told me. I try to set boundaries. But setting a boundary means not eating dinner bc I leave when my parents yell at me. I try to think positively and ignore the pain. I probably walk an average of 1-2 miles a day. I try and try and try and it hurts so much. They can't be proud of me? For even big victories? Guilting me about graduation cause I took too long. Keeping a job for more than a year (its not a REAL job cause its hourly and doesnt have benefits).
Like what's the point? I've been fighting and fighting and most of the world wants to see me dead and gone anyway. I'm trying to work in a field that doesn't even consider people like me. If I cant work Ill just bring my boyfriend and my family down. Every step forward I manage to take I get dragged back 10.
Im so tired and ashamed and stressed and my fucking body hurts worse now because of the stress and i just dont want to wake up tomorrow.
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name: che
height: 5'3-ish. close enough to average. i can reach the top shelf, and at the end of the day, that's what matters.
nickname / s: chebureki, chechival, cheeble, chevalier, jam.
nationality: californian. 😎
favourite fruit: peach. 🥹🙏 strawberry is second. grape is third.
favourite season: spring? the benefits of summer hours with less of the summer heat. fall is nicer for layering tho
favourite scents: gasoline, bread, vanilla, citrus, books.
favourite animals: baby hippos (only baby), small dogs (esp chihuahuas), cows.
tea, coffee, hot cocoa: green tea, or else coffee with milk and, if i've been good, a sprinkle of cocoa powder.
average hours of sleep: uh. probably like 4-5 if i have to be somewhere in the morning, 8-10 if i don't.
when my blog was created: this incarnation? my earliest post was apparently 23 may 2020, so we're coming up on that 4 year anniversary 😏 but the first standalone cherry blog was from 2016? the oldest muse on here to originate on tumblr (ciel) emerged in late 2011. the oldest oldest muse on here originated off-tumblr in like 2008/9 on gaiaonline (talking abt u, naux).
# of followers: i normally wouldn't answer this, but i will tell u now that it is 365 just because that's such a satisfying number? got a buddy here for every day of the year 😎 that's a lie tho bc the number is broken and doesn't really fluctuate no matter how many people i gain or lose LOL i'm pretty sure like 4/5 people on the list are inactive tho, so please help me make more friends
random fact: my bedroom is ridiculously girly, soft pinks and pale greys and whites with gold accents, loads of pillows and plushes and decorative doodads, but i myself dress almost entirely in black. it's a little like putting wednesday in enid's room. not quite sure what that says about me.
favourite food: the humble tuna sandwich. i'm counting lemonade as a food here, just so i can add it in. i like lemonade even more than i like tuna.
favourite t.v. shows: flcl, dead boy detectives, good omens, i love lucy, king of the hill, the simpsons, lupin iii.
favourite movie: my letterboxd top 4 are some like it hot (1959), ghostbusters (1984), mad max: fury road (2015), and back to the future (1985)...but if i could have a fifth, it would be austin powers (1997).
sexuality: i like girls a lot more than i like guys, but i'm too busy and too broke to even think about that 😤
pronouns : she/they/any? idc abt labels and boxes, but it's weird that u're talking about me when i'm not there /:
favourite book series: howard the duck 😏 did you think i'd really make it to the end of this without mentioning him? this is also my chance to plug fly by night by frances hardinge, and its sequel, fly trap (or twilight robbery in the UK). there's also the monster blood tattoo trilogy by d.m. cornish that i desperately wish i'd held on to because it's apparently out of print now! my blood boils every time i remember. it would be remiss if i didn't mention a series of unfortunate events, just because i do think it was very influential for me. i'm about to reread the saga of darren shan/cirque du freak for the first time since middle school, so wish me luck 😤
favourite video game/s: god, fuckin...idk, tetris? roblox??? i'm not a gamer at all. i can't play anything unless i'm playing with a friend. that's a lie, i played baldgate3. the only thing i play is the sims 4. i'm trash
favourite subject: [scuttles around on all fours, twitching and foaming at the mouth] school bad! school BAD! (my three passions are history and fashion and film, but i don't love the academic system. Cs get degrees, etc. my own degree was in creative writing, and now i'm trapped in retail hell, so be smarter than me, kids! except also i hear even stem is useless these days? society is crumbling so bad, i—)
guys or girls: i prefer drawing guy faces and girl bodies. idk what u're getting at here
last time I cried: last night, conveniently
what I should be doing: taking out the trash, cooking up curry, cleaning the bathroom, polishing my spanish and diving into mandarin, writing, drawing, job hunting. continuing my goal of watching 365 movies this year. sweeping up the feathers of my cockatiel, galileo, because it's Moltin' Time. the usual 🤷♀️
favourite fandoms: i actually don't participate in fandom LOL i just lurk. chat about stuff in discord—DMs, not servers. i have so much art and music in my head, but i don't have the mobile dexterity and stamina for it anymore. maybe one day...
tagged by: @hatchetsfield (thanks, pidge!) tagging: anyone who learned a thing about me from this
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(sorry this is a side blog, dumblr only lets your reply to posts from your main)
anyway, another long infodump ahead (i get possitive responses from my followers when i do this so i will not apologise)
yeah, the room to the left in the quester's rest populates with player's you've tagged (talk to erinn, ask to canvass for guests) up to 6.
once you reach your 7th guest, the barrier is removed from the stairs to access the first floor (second floor for y'all americans) and erinn will explain she had to open it up to make room for more guests. on that floor, you'll find a door and more stairs barred off. the area will populate with another 6 guests.
at your 13th guest, well, first you'll find the whole interior of the quester's rest has been upgraded. but also erinn will have unbarred the door upstairs to make room for another 6 guests.
at your 19th guest, erinn will unbar the stairs to the second floor (third floor). there's another barred door there.
with your 25th guest, the quester's rest interior will upgrade againthe door on the top floor will open and you'll see you finally have room for the whole 30 guests.
if you have more than 30 guests, they start replacing the oldest ones but you can show guests to the royal suit so they never leave (ask erinn to view the guestbook).
when you reach the max capacity of 30, you'll get access to the basement. there's a fountain down there that spawns items, some of the items you find may differ from other players due to a hidden fountain group value in your save file. there are 4 spots where items spawn but a new spot gets added for every 100 players you tag up to 10 additional spots (14 total) at 1000 players. there's also accolades for tagging certain numbers of players up to 1000.
if you ever connected to wifi (ps while ds wifi was discontinued in 2014, there are fan replacement servers you can connect to, ask me about them for more info. otherwise, you can hack this stuff in with the save editor), you probably have the special inn guests from previous games who's rooms you can access from the elevator operator who takes you to the royal suites. they all have 3-5 pieces of gear to give you to dress up as them. they will all have one to give you the first time you talk to them, one to give you on your birthday (birthday in ingame profile settings matches date on your ds), and one to give you when the in is fully expanded. (they may also have one they give you if you talk to them as a certain vocation and/or one after a certain quest. they will also give you birthday cakes and/or party poppers on your birthday, these could only otherwise be obtained from the dqvc - the fan servers do NOT operate dqvc themes that had them. and 1 birthday cake is required for an extra quest so don't go using those up. one extra quest requires dressing as borya; borya will only give you his shoes when the inn is fully expanded. i bought borya's shoes from the dqvc in 2014 instead, the fan servers do NOT run the theme with those either. if you're fine with using a save editor you can hack all this stuff in instead if you want).
in tag mode you can also share a copy of any treasure maps. you can't tag the same player, every save has a uuid (universal unique identifier) so your save will know if it's the same player. but if they've left your inn (either bc you've got more than 30 and they were kicked out, or you manually kicked them from the guest book), you can tag them again. it WON'T count as an additional guest but you can share another map this way.
deleting a save file will delete the uuid so you can reset the save file on another copy over and over, playing through the first 2 hours of the game to reach the quester's rest, then tagging your main copy. this is what i've been doing, it's slow but i'd prefer to avoid hacking my original copy if possible.
EDIT: almost totally forgot i was gonna add a video. if you'd like to see what the inn expansions look like, here's a video. looks like the uploader is enhancing the graphics in an emulator. they also have no actualy guests in the rooms so they probably just unlocked them with the save editor
youtube
#saving adventure log#anyone also really disappointed that even with the inn fully expanded you can never get to that balcony you see outside?
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Day 2: Soy Cansada
I’d hoped that because I had my home with me I’d be able to camp wherever I saw fit. The problem is that unlike Argentina, most of the land is fenced, but that may change. But what that has meant is that wild camping isn’t possible and looking for official accommodation is needed, and certainly on the route I’ve travelled, avoiding Ruta 5, there’s been few options. I got to a point yesterday where I began to hatch a plan as the tank finally hit zero in Llancagua, 4 miles back down the road on a final climb that in the heat of the day, nearly finished me off. I had water but I went to a vineyard shop and asked for more. As expected they were charming and so was I. I’d sit on their bench as I cooled down and when the moment was right, I’d ask them where the nearest habatacion was. They’d say there was nowhere and I’d ask if I could camp in their vineyard. All very simple. Then as if by magic, using a different word in google maps to search (this time hostal, not hostel, hotel, camping cabanas), this little gem in which I now write from appeared! Hallelujah 🙌 .
“This” is Hostainer. Elish and Eliana are small-holding farmers with two Dalmatians, Bongo and son, Max. They also have sheep and chickens, and have created just 4 cabins and a vast playground in front of it and a water feature which Elish turned on just for me. Who wouldn’t want to stay? I didn’t love the cockerels that woke me at 3:30am but hey, this is rural Chile! I was a little bit broken when I arrived, and sat on my deck scoffing the last bit of food I had: banana chips, chicken slices and a stale bit of bread. Eliana walked past and commented “No Fruta? oy oy oy!” appearing two minutes later with two oranges and four strawberries. There wasn’t anything that could have made for a better stay, other than to have arrived 3 hours earlier and not be sun baked and knackered. Six dog chases probably didn’t help!
I’m trying to think of anywhere in the world where I’ve been that is quite so rural and still tastefully commercial. Those selling their wine produce have home-made signs and are barely noticeable as you pass. They are marketed using their position on the road: 4.5km vineyard. Vendre Vino Tinto/Vino Blanco. The road is so quiet, you have to suspect that they must be selling most wholesale as passing trade must be minimal. In terms of geography, it’s both like Tuscany and where Idaho meets Montana. And always, no matter where I’ve been so far, the snow-covered tips of the Andes are visible, even now as I head towards the coast and Concepcion.
It feels like today is the day to, let me try and put this positively, to try and destroy the myth that South America is a bad and dangerous place.
Over and over again, when I’ve spoken to people from outside of the continent about travelling solo as a female on a bike, the overriding impression is that “you’re going to die at the hands of a sadistic maniac”. They may not use those words but this is what they mean. I read an article last weekend which made my blood boil. To quote:
“Earlier this year, after six weeks of travelling alone around cities across Latin America for work, I met a male photographer friend in Buenos Aires. Walking together at night, my shoulders slackened, my mood lifted, my brow unfurrowed. That's when I realised how hard I'd been working to keep myself safe.
Six weeks of grasping my house keys as a makeshift weapon in my hand. Looking over my shoulder when I heard a noise and crossing the road if I had to; scanning every person I passed as a potential threat. I do the same when I'm alone in Belfast - my hometown, London, or Barcelona. I don't feel less safe in Latin America, but I was completely alone here. When I tried to explain this to my friend and he said, "Yeah, I've not been taking my iPhone out" it was clear that he, like the best men I know, was wildly clueless about the daily lived experience of the women they know.” (Anna Hart: journalist - Independent)
At the swimming pool a few weeks back, a lady overheard me talking to a friend about my trip. I didn’t know her and when I’d finished, she spoke to me and told me “South America is dangerous though”
It is probably the most common emotion that people share with me, both this and last time I visited. Other than the journalist quoted (which blows my mind that she’s a journalist at all, as that means leaving the house, viewing the world and not being “scared all the time” - I don’t know how she breathes!), the people sharing their fears have never been to South America, which is a pretty big continent! I quoted some stats from crime indexes on my last trip but I won’t do that now. But I will say that most of the time (not all! Sometimes I’m tired and make stupid decisions, I’m human), I have common sense. For example, I considered riding out of São Paulo south to ride rather than jump on more planes. I didn’t in the end, not because of the Favelas which are known to be dangerous, are mapped on Google Maps, but because it was raining. I chose not to ride from Venezuela or Guyana as they have huge problems at the moment. It’s no surprise if you look at a continent the size of a continent, there will be areas with troubles. I wouldn’t ride through Ukraine or Iran right now, and North Korea isn’t looking too appealing. Most of the time, 90% of problems happen within the city boundaries, and if you’re not savvy, you might be one of the unlucky few who had a bad time. London is no better. And whilst all fear seems to point towards men, I can’t forget of the 3 incidents in all my time travelling, one of those was instigated by a woman. Some people are bad. Most are good. Look for the positive.
For the people I’ve met so far, once again, Chile is proving to be as welcoming and open as Argentina. Joanne welcomed me into her home on the first night heading south in San Fernando. Mario, deaf but so keen to speak to me that he got his hearing aid, then took me on a tour of his reserve. It was for me a real “Ben Fogle” moment. (I love New lives in the wild). He insisted on letting me sleep in the own cabin as his only guest. And in the provo shop somewhere on the huge Ruta 5 detour, despite his disfigurement, was so keen to talk to me and shook my hand with gusto as I left.
So, in turning the world’s perception on its head, I’m excited to confirm I’ve swayed at least one person’s opinion! It’s someone I used to work with, who like me is now a freelance consultant I’d happily (and have actively tried to) work with again. He recently joined the Facebook group and doing “the most bonkers thing I’ve ever done” and joined the winging it mentality, landing in Buenos Aires next week to smash his way round South America for six weeks! Go, buddy! Anyone else coming?
I neeeeed a shorter day today. I look like I’ve been bitten by horseflies several times in both eyes. It’s not a great look. So south west bound, slowly and less. Around 560 miles from Puerto Montt. If this was the UK, for which the distance of this leg is (Lands End to John O Groats or vice versa) today I’d either be in north Staffs or going the other way, around Edinburgh. A way to go then. Where’s breakfast?
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Your "eight orgasm" comment about Jimin got me thinking what's the max amount of times you've had sex in a 24 hour day? And what was the max amount of times a male partner has orgasmed for you? Cause I feel like most guys tap out after 2. 3 at the max. I mean often the guys do the work in bed so I get that they're tired...but after 3 most dicks seem spent. After that it seems super sensitive, hurts, and they just shoot blanks.
Max amount of times I've had sex in a 24h period: I really can't say for this one because if the schedule is have sex > sleep/eat > repeat, I don't look at the time and I have blackout curtains lol, I should have recorded over the years but it's the last thing on my mind, yk?
Max amount of times a male partner has orgasmed for me in one session: 10, with minimal downtime in between (reported by the other person, ofc). There def is times where they don't release any fluid, but that doesn't mean they didn't orgasm. Average is around 4-5 times. It really does depend on what you're doing - if I'm edging / doing crazy stuff with my mouth / choking with my pussy, they'll get murdered quicker. XD I would say I do a decent amount of work during sex. I thrust back, I'm blowing, I perform the handjobs...
Note, I became better over the years. You learn how much force to use which each subsequent orgasm and what order to do things if you want multiple. Mouth, pussy, hand is typically the most effective order. Also, the dick needs to actually want to orgasm multiple times (willpower is half the battle). There are men who have lower refectory periods than others. When I began having sex, it was around 2-3 per session. In time, you learn to pace yourself better so you don't wear out just because you sprinted to the first nut. If they're obsessed with having sex with you, they won't wanna stop until it is actually impossible and even then... Desperation can make people do crazy things.
My body also takes some getting used to, I've heard. XD
I don't make it a rule that they must orgasm a certain amount of times. If it's just one, then it's just one, I don't mind, but it never shakes out to be only one time because they underestimate how good it feels and how much they want to feel it again. I never tap out, ever. I think that's also part of the reason, they want to get me to tap out but, alas, they are never successful. They do keep trying, though. We admire determination.
Now, I don't make generalizations about dick. Like, ever. But I will say, circumcised vs uncircumcised do have differences. Don't treat them the same. Ask questions on how to get the most out of the dick. Chances are, men are curious about themselves too. They've probably done some... personal research. And sometimes it's the headspace they're in that interferes.
Remember that my case is very particular, because I treat sex very seriously and I'm very passionate about it (other than the obvious lmao). I'm also good at reading people. You can't bluff with me. The people that want to have sex with me already know how I am, what I want, and want to live up to it.
If they think they can't, they don't ask, they just fantasize by themselves. Not worth getting their pride bruised, kekeke.
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We are starting round IX with Ninildu Orange. Ninildu is the only surviving member of the Orange family. His grandfather was a werewolf heartbreaker and his father had just died under mysterious circumstances.
This round he's getting a gift from nature, or ROS... a free bee setup. He will need to work on his mechanical skill if he wants to tame the bees.
The previous hood-wide scenario still applies, so Ninildu will be sick and he will be forced to stay in bed for most of the round. That's why this round will probably be very quick, especially for 1 sim households.
~*~
Speaking of the global scenario, I've decided I won't be rolling if sims die from this flu plague (unless this happens naturally, but it's very unlikely in my game). Instead, I will see if they get the Weak Constitution trait. For now I still don't use any sort of disease mod... but it might change someday.
I won't always calculate this for every sim, but I've decided to see what Ninildu's health score would be according to the Warwickshire Challenge. He has ended up with his adolescent health score of ~45, which means his health is 'fair', although it might turn into a pretty poor health score in his adulthood.
I'll treat 'fair' and above as penalty-free health. According to that challenge sims with fair health score could only perform strenuous activities for no longer than 4 hours a day (so Ninildu could garden and/or run his business for up to 4 hours total).
Because it's the 'flu plague' times, I decided to calculate Adriana's (Ninildu's girlfriend) health score too. Apparently, she has got crazy good health. It's excellent, with a score of 112 as an adolescent, so she probably didn't get infected at all. Hopefully her birth rolls go just as well when she becomes a mother.
~*~
Ninildu opened his store on the last day of the round, but before that he had invited his sweetheart over. Besides the last day of the rotation the Oranges' round was really uneventful. Ninildu spent his days resting in bed and doing only minimal chores, like feeding his animals and honing his mechanical skill.
Since Ninildu wanted to have his very first WooHoo, I decided to move Adriana in. While Ninildu didn't necessarily want to tie the knot, he wanted to go steady. I only have a want tree for teens to want to WooHoo, not to get married.
Ninildu invited Adriana first thing in the morning (before her shift would even start!). His relationship to Adriana had deteriorated over the course of a season, and so had his aspiration meter.
Adriana had a little amnesia after she had moved in, so they had to kiss again. I cleared her NPC type and gave her an ACR token, so she should behave normally from now on.
She's a Pisces, but her genetic personality is different from her current one. She's 2 Neat (originally 5), 1 Outgoing (originally 3), 7 Active, 7 Playful (originally 3), and 5 Nice (originally 7).
I don't mind the fact that her skills were randomized, but they are a bit high. She has maxed out Creativity (someone will finally use the easel again!), she's a pretty good cook, she's quite logical, and she's a bit athletic, which makes a lot of sense with her high health score.
I kept ~1000$ out of the money she brought with her, even though no dowry is really required for plebeians. Adriana would help run the business (but of course she doesn't know how to run the register anymore!).
~*~
The newly-spawned she-wolf only came by the lot on the day of the Oranges' wedding. Sadly, no other pet paid the Oranges a visit earlier this round.
I would really like to breed the Oranges' dog, but I may have to prolong his life. I will need to move in the female wolf with them next round, if she shows up again.
Ninildu's dog saved him from the Social Bunny's visit, which would have certainly occurred, had he had no company at all.
~*~
The newlyweds earned quite a bit, around 930$.
372$ - tax
500$ - rent
93$ - tithe
200$ - burial fee for granddad Ninurta and dad Damu
100$ - marriage license
They paid 1265$. I added the marriage license fee since Ninildu got quite a bit of simoleons out of this marriage. Also, both Ninildu's father and grandfather had been haunting the lot and I sent them to the graveyard, so he needed to cover the funeral fees.
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